I should be working on my novel but I wanted to drop in and write up a wrap-up for 2015. 2015 was a good year for me, or at least it was as I remember it right now. I have a house, and my cats have finally settled from the move and are no longer hiding. See, here they are.
I have furniture (that’s a long, long story) and I’m not sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Yay! I have a back yard and a porch and a garage. I have WiFi and a washing machine and an oven that works and hot water. Life is pretty good. Sure, I want to paint the horrible blue and pink bathroom and the water pressure isn’t the greatest but it’s all mine. I have however long I live here to make changes.
All right, I’m listening to the podcast Limetown as I write this so hopefully, I’m not too distracted. I’m glad I found out it was a fictional story before I started listening. It’s creepy. It’s about a town where 200 people disappeared and an investigator (in the Serial podcast fashion) tries to find out what happened. Oh, season two of Serial has started if you don’t know. I like podcasts. They’re like old timey radio shows. I like the stripped down intimacy of listening to voices and not being assaulted by over-saturated visuals.
Back to the purpose of this post, the other big thing that happened in 2015 was discovering I’m asexual and knowing for the first time in my life that I’m not defective or damaged. It’s hard changing 40+ years of a negative self-image. Finding out there is a welcoming asexual community online is like the best grilled cheese sandwich you’ve ever had. I’m still working on what all this means to me. There’s a million ways to be asexual. I would like to be in a relationship if that’s possible. I just don’t think most people would put up with me.
I don’t have any New Years resolutions. Sure, there’s stuff I want to make a better effort on but NY resolutions don’t last.
Happy 2016, everyone. I hope this new year will be the best one yet for you.
Where have I been? I’m glad you ask.
Was I fighting a dragon who was attacking a castle? Not quite.
Helping a princess look for lego? Yes.
Posing family members? Yes.
Laughing about squirrel underpants? Yes.
Showing kids the ocean? Yes.
If it wasn’t clear, I was on vacation. I had a great time, and so did every one else if I can speak on behalf of my family, but that is not what this post is about.
Both my cats are scaredy cats. They hide if anyone comes over or if there’s a thunderstorm or the vacuum cleaner is running. I’ve never left Neutrino alone for more than 48 hours before. The last time I went on vacation before Neutrino, I didn’t tell the person who was feeding my cats that Jackie Chan liked to go into rooms and close the door behind her for alone time. Jackie ended up locking herself in my bedroom and tore all the carpet out from under the door trying to get out. Poor kitty.
Neutrino was the one I was most worried about. He’s had separation anxiety in the past when I leave for work. I’ve worked through that with him but 8 days is a long time. My anxiety was eating at me over it.
I had a wonderful person come over and feed them each day, She’s been over several times before so I figured they were sort of use to her even if they had never come out of hiding to see her. From what I’ve heard there were a couple times Neutrino freaked out when she came by but they were fine when I got home. Jackie Chan was her normal self, but Neutrino did not come out of hiding until 4AM. When he did come out to see me, he made his little trilling sounds and demanded that I pet him for quite a while. Here he is letting me know that I’m not allowed to leave him like that ever again.
Life has been getting better for me each day which I honestly could not say for a long time. I’ve made some new goals and plans and feel pretty confident about them. I don’t hate myself and I don’t feel like depression is stalking me any more.
I finally know the end of the novel I’ve been working on for two years now and I’m excited to finish that up and move on to some of the other stories peculating in my brain.
My cats are doing well. Neutrino is having some separation anxiety issues. He’s fine if I’m home the majority of the day or come home at least the expected time after work. I have find out a way to work through this with him because of a vacation I’m planning in a few months and I don’t want him to be all crazy while I’m gone.
I took a break from writing. I know that’s not what people recommend but I realized that I needed to re-imagine the story and main character more than what I originally thought. I started writing again today and I feel good about where things are going. I try not to stress out about my writing because creativity is an expression, not a competition. It’s hard though; I could probably stress out about anything if I tried.
I’ve been a bit busy with writing and family things so here’s some pictures of my cats to keep you company. And yes, that is a cowboy sheet.
The wild bunch demanding food.