Category Archives: videos

Good intentions



I have good intentions of posting regularly and saying interesting things so that anyone who reads will think “Oh, how clever.” It just doesn’t always happen or even sometimes happens. Today I woke up at 7am, fed the cats, ate breakfast, paid bills, started catching up on the shows I’ve DVR’ed, and fell back to sleep until noon. I know, don’t I live a fabulous life?

It’s a cold rainy Saturday afternoon. The cats are napping. My fitbit has given up on me getting 10,000 steps for the day. I’ve caught up on sleep. It was a busy week. I started pre-service foster care classes this week which means two days a week I go from work to home for a quick supper and to class for three hours. Two classes and six hours down; 11 classes and 31 hours to go.

The first class was a basic orientation.

The second class was about the process and the child welfare team. There was a lot of talk about what to do when the social worker doesn’t call you back which is apparently a thing you have to deal with. I know they are busy people and have to deal with the safety of children but even doctors offices call you back if you leave them a message. It seems like there should be a better system.

Any way, I don’t know if I said anything clever or if you had a moment to think “Oh, she’s so clever.” but here a video to watch if you have the time. Part two is on youtube. Warning: if you have a heart, it will make you weepy most likely unless you’re a tough guy.






why care about asexuality any way?


Happy Asexual Awareness Week!

I can hear some of you thinking “Oh, no, Vicki, not the asexual thing again! I’m not asexual. Why don’t you stop posting about this?” Yes, that’s right, I can hear your thoughts, and I’m going to tell you why I’m not going to stop posting.

As far as anyone knows, about 1% of the world’s population is asexual. I think it’s more because of the stigma especially for males to admit they don’t experience sexual attraction. Asexuality is not a new internet fad. In the 1940’s Kinsey found a percentage of people (1.5% of males) who did not experience sexual attraction in his studies. There are other studies from the 1970’s about asexual behavior and recent studies show that asexuality exists in the animal kingdom. See here for studies.

With so few of us, there is rarely any representation in the media, except as socially awkward geniuses, time lords, or serial killers. There was an asexual EMT on the comedy Sirens last year and the romance novella Ace by Jack Byrne. (Yes, asexuals can have romances too.) I’m sure there are other examples that I don’t know about. I’m getting off topic but my point is if you don’t know asexuality exists, you aren’t going to stumble across it through mainstream media. You can find videos on youtube and references online but you have to search for them to find them.

Before anyone discovers they are asexual, they need to know asexuality exists. This may come as a surprise but a lot of asexual people (before they know they are asexual) think you all are just over-exaggerating all the sexual stuff. It’s kind of like learning a second language and never quite finding that language’s humor funny. You can recognize the humor and get good at fake laughing because everyone around you is laughing but it’s not what you think is funny. There’s a difference between not understanding humor and not understanding sexual attraction though. Human beings need other human beings. You might not even understand what how you are different. It gets to a point were you think there’s something wrong with you and that you’re broken or abnormal.

Asexuals don’t need to be made aware that we exist. We all ready know that. It’s those who don’t know who they are that need help. It’s a miserable life feeling like you don’t belong but they don’t have to feel like that. They have a community that will welcome them. That’s why I’m writing this post to you, the 99%. If you have a friend or family member who is struggling and doesn’t have interest in relationships or finds them unsatisfying, maybe you can say to them, “Hey, have you heard of this thing called asexuality? There’s a bunch of stuff online about it.” And then let them go research it on their own. Or if you hear or see someone say asexuality isn’t real and asexuals are just a bunch of people who want to be special snowflakes, you’ll know the truth (because you’ve read all the information on the links I’ve added, right?) and you can tell them they don’t know what they are talking about because we can all use allies.


Things I do instead of writing.


1 Finf amusing things on Pinterest

2. Wash dishes. (Ha! Who am I kidding? I’m not washing dishes.)

3. Play with cats

4. Make play lists for my characters. Closer to actually writing, at least I’m thinking of my characters.

5. Blog post about what I’m doing instead of writing.

Cake, cats, acceptance or what asexuals talk about amongst ourselves


Ever wonder what asexual people talk about with each other? Then you need to watch the Pieces of Ace podcast. Episode 2 is right here. You can also visit their website here.

I wonder if angel cake is the same as angel food cake?